Road trips. Too much diet soda and not enough bathrooms breaks.

Last weekend I traveled to Las Vegas, NV. It's a relatively large city in southern Nevada. I hadn't heard of it before. Perhaps you have?

There is a lot to do and see in Vegas, and I could see that it might appeal to many different kinds of people. I learned a lot too. I learned that if you walk around at night and are blinded by the bright lights, try to avoid looking down, as the ground is littered with business cards for all the *ahem* working girls in their business suits. Basically their naked bodies complete silicone/saline/Restylane enhancements. I will say this about Vegas, those wishing to pay homage to Bacchus, please, plan your trip now. Every where you look in Vegas, you will surely spy what could veritably be described as a Bacchanalia with slot machines.


While in Vegas I saw New York:



Paris:


Funny story about Paris. While there Heather and I decided to see if perhaps maybe possibly we could eat at the Eiffel Tower restaurant. There was a very nice man at the entrance to the elevator that told us we had nice smiles and could certainly get us a table. How nice, how smart I thought, giddy with anticipation at seeing this restaurant. A 5 star restaurant. Upon entering said restaurant it occurred to me that I was completely under while simultaneously being outrageously over dressed for this watering hole. The server was a real live stuffy french man, who was a little put out when we told him we only wanted to order dessert, Creme Brulee (which was in fact so rich, so mind blowingly perfect that I almost peed the perfectly upholstered red velvet dining chairs) a dish about the size of a small saucer, which we shared. We paid for our small dish of heaven, and hightailed it out of there but not before Heather was able to snag a couple boxes of Eiffel Tower Restaurant Matches. A souvenir if you will.

We also went to Madame Tussauds, where I met the waxy likenesses of Elvis, John Wayne and a couple other famous people, but they were really ugly pictures so I chose not to share them with you at this time. Maybe later.



All right, I'm off to go shower and conquer the world and all that crap as per usual. Come back soon for a new post. Or don't. See if I care. I do though. I do care. Please come back. Or whatever. Like I even give a crap. J/K. I give lots of crap. I was only kidding. I love you.

May the force be with you.

That is all.

~B